SMS Mania
New,,,,,,,,,, and New...
Good collection of SMS messages....
All,
I have started a new blog for SMS'es.. and is
just a click away..
Visit:-
http://smsdaily.blogspot.com
spread a word to your friends too, Let them also N'Joy...
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Monday, June 12, 2006
This is how business is done
Father : I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"
Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!
Psychological test - wat sort of person are you?
What sort of person are you. Following is a simple but very effective
psychological test, devised by famous British psychologist Dr. John S.
Bebridge. Our choice about the nature reveals a lot about us. Spend
Atleast few minutes before checking the option given at the end.
It is spring time. Imagine you walked into a small hut by the river in
the jungle. You pushed open the door, in front of you are 7 small beds
to the right of the hut, and another 7 small chairs surrounding a
round table. In the middle of the table, a food tray with 5 kinds of
fruit is kept.
These are:
a.) Apple
b.) Banana
c.) Strawberry
d.) Peach
e.) Orange
Which fruit would you choose? see the comments section for the answers .....
Family Problem
Once two men sat in a bar drinking.
The first one said to the other ,"I have a hell lot of family problems."
The second one said ,"I'll tell you mine. I married a widow having a young daughter. My father married my daughter and so my father became my son-in-law and I became my father's father-in-law. My daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother. More problems occurred when I had a son
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he my uncle. Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son i.e. my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grand father and I am my own grandson.
And you say you have family problems !!! ".
Friday, June 09, 2006
Why did the chicken cross the road??
Jayalalitha:
"From reliable sources I've learned that the chicken actually belongs to Karunanidhi. He is making his chicken
cross the road just to create law and order problems. The chicken has now been arrested under POTA"
Bal Thackeray:
"Chickens crossing the roads is totally against our culture. My sainiks will see to any chickens that try to cross the road"
Venkiah Naidu:
"That the chicken crossed the road clearly demonstrates the fact that the people and chickens have lost confidence in the Congress Government. The Government should own moral responsibility and resign."
George Fernandes:
"I am deeply hurt that this question is being asked after my 40 clean years of public life. I don't own a house, or a car, leave alone a chicken."
Mulayam Singh:
"I demand a 50% reservation of the road for the chicken class, so that they can cross the road freely, and in dignity, without their motives being questioned"
L.K.Advani:
"I definitely see a Pakistani hand in this chicken crossing business ..."
Sonia Gandhi
"We are very sure of the fact that the chicken did not cross the road. It's just a conspiracy by the BJP to bring the Government down. The poor chicken has been made a scapegoat in this whole issue"
H.S.Surjeet:
"We are adopting a wait and watch policy. We have convened a meeting of the Left parties today. We will decide the future course of action after the chicken comes back"
Abdul Kalam:
"Yes, why did the chickens cross the road? Please tell me why? They crossed to get to the other side of the road. Now children, repeat after me...."
Menaka Gandhi:
" The poor chicken had to cross the road. If a vehicle had run over it, we would have lost one of our most precious creatures. We must therefore ban all vehicles from using the road."
Gabbar Singh
"Arrey oh Saamba! Kitne chicken thhey?
Amitabh Bachchan:
"The chicken has crossed the road? Are you sure? Pakka? Lock kiya jaaye?"
Black and white hats
There are 3 black hats and 2 white hats in a box. Three men (we will call them A, B, & C) each reach into the box and place one of the hats on his own head. They cannot see what color hat they have chosen. The men are situated in a way that A can see the hats on B & C's heads, B can only see the hat on C's head and C cannot see any hats.
When A is asked if he knows the color of the hat he is wearing, he says no.
When B is asked if he knows the color of the hat he is wearing he says no.
When C is asked if he knows the color of the hat he is wearing he says yes and he is correct.
What color hat and how can this be? There is no play on words and there are no tricks. If had is used instead of has it is purely accidental
asusual answers in the comment section...
Thursday, June 08, 2006
an interview with GOD
So you would like to interview me?” God asked.
“If you have the time” I said.
God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”
“What surprises you most about humankind?”
God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,
they rush to grow up, and then
long to be children again.”
“That they lose their health to make money...
and then lose their money to restore their health.”
“That by thinking anxiously about the future,
they forget the present,
such that they live in neither
the present nor the future.”
"That they live as if they will never die,
and die as though they had never lived.”
God’s hand took mine
and we were silent for a while.
And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons
you want your children to learn?”
“To learn they cannot make anyone
love them. All they can do
is let themselves be loved.”
“To learn that it is not good
to compare themselves to others.”
“To learn to forgive
by practicing forgiveness.”
“To learn that it only takes a few seconds
to open profound wounds in those they love,
and it can take many years to heal them.”
“To learn that a rich person
is not one who has the most,
but is one who needs the least.”
“To learn that there are people
who love them dearly,
but simply have not yet learned
how to express or show their feelings.”
“To learn that two people can
look at the same thing
and see it differently.”
“To learn that it is not enough that they
forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”
"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.
"Is there anything else
you would like your children to know?"
God smiled and said,
“Just know that I am here... always.”
to view
"view presentation"
http://www.theinterviewwithgod.com/windowmovie2.html
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
stung by a BEE
A man comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain "Please doctor you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."
DOCTOR: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."
MAN: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."
DOCTOR: "No you don't understand! I'll put some cream on the place you were stung."
MAN: "Oh! it happened in the garden where I was sitting under a tree"
DOCTOR (in anger): "No, no you IDIOT! I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting."
MAN (still screaming in pain): "On my finger! The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts"
DOCTOR (banging his fist, abusing and shouting): "Which one?"
MAN (innocently): "How am I to know? All bees look the same to me."
Love and marraige
The student asks a teacher: What is love?
The teacher said: in order to answer your question, go to the paddy field and choose the biggest paddy and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn
back to pick.
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy, but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to realize that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.
The teacher told him, this is love... you keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already miss the person The student asked: What is marriage then? The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick. The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he fee satisfied, and came back to the teacher.
The teacher told him, this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get .... this is marriage.
Americanisms
Haven't you always wondered how "Americanisms" would sound like if they were translated literally to an average Indian on, say, the streets of New Delhi (or elsewhere)?
Have a nice day! ----- * Achcha din lo!
What's up? ----- *Uppar kya hai?
You're kidding! ----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!
Don't kid me! ----- * Mera bachcha mut banaao!
Yo, baby! What's up? -----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?
Cool man! -----* Thandaa aadmi!
Don't mess with me, dude.----- * Mere saath gandagee mat karo, ek hustee.
Check this out, man! ----- * Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!
She's so fine! ----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!
Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?----- * Suno dost, woh choozaa mera hai, theek?
Hey good looking; what's cooking? ----- * Hey Sundari; kyaa pak raha hai?
Are you nuts? ----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?
Son of a gun.----- * Bachcha bandook ka.
And the best one is.....
How do you do? ----- * Kaise karte ho?
General Body Meeting.... ----- *Saamanya Shaaririk Milan
Friday, June 02, 2006
Women Demystified - The IT way
SoftWare Programming in C++ for Structure of Females!
struct female_professionals
{
double styles;
short skirts;
long time_to_understand_problems;
float mind;
void knowledge;
char non_co-operative;
}
struct married_females
{
double weight;
short tempered;
long gossip;
float hopes;
void word;
char unstable;
}
struct engaged_females
{
double time_on_phone;
short attention_on_work;
long boast;
float on_cloud_nine;
void understanding;
char edgy;
}
struct newly_married_females
{
double dinner_invitation;
short time_at_work;
long lunch_break;
void bank_balance;
char hen_pecked;
}
struct husband_wife_professionals
{
double income;
short tempered;
long time_no_see_each_other;
void love_life;
char money_making;
}
struct beautiful_city_girl{
double boyfriends;
short affairs;
long stories;
void greymatter;
char flirt;
}
struct old_lady
{
double chin ;
short memory;
long sighs ;
void attention_from_men;
char chatterbox;
}
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Praise the Lord
A Pastor was walking past a pet shop one day when he noticed a sign in the window: "Christian Horse for Sale." Being that the Pastor owned a large ranch, he was immediately interested, and went into the shop.
The owner took the Pastor out to the back, where he saw a beautiful Arabian stallion. He agreed to allow the Pastor to take a "test run."
The Pastor grabbed the reins. "giddyap." The horse ignored him. "no, no," counseled the owner. This is a Christian horse. If you want him to move, you must say, "Praise the Lord!" The Pastor did as he was told, and the horse started off on a leisurely walk. However, he soon found that the horse would Not stop. "He won't answer to 'Whoa', said the owner. It's "Amen."
The Pastor decided that he liked the horse, so he bought him and took him home to his ranch in the country. He saddled the horse up again, said, "Praise the Lord," and went riding into the countryside.
Suddenly, the horse saw a rattlesnake crossing the path. Frightened, he reared and bolted straight for a cliff. The Pastor cried "whoa!" but the horse only ran faster. In vain, he tried one word after another. Finally, he Remembered the correct command and screamed "AMEN!!!!!" just as the horse approached the edge of the cliff.
The Pastor was so thrilled that his life had been saved that he raised his hands to the sky and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD!"
HOW TO IMPRESS CLIENTS
I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago.
While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying
a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was a! lso flying to Seattle,
but she was running a little bit late.
Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman,
introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, and I' m waiting
for a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come
walk by and just say "Hi Tom?"
"Sure."
I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes
later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business. A
couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.
"Hi, Tom," he said.
I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a meeting."
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