Computer Humor

Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

***

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

***

A woman customer called the Canon help desk about a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

GLOSSARY

know these terms:

Outsourcing: Moving company functions from internal departments to external firms
Offshoring: Relocating corporate activities overseas.
Nearshoring: Relocating offshore activities nearer the client's home country
BPO: Business processing outsourcing - moving white collar tasks like accounting or invoicing. to an external firm
Captive firms: Companies owned by foreign multinationals who perform outsourcing services for the parent firm
UK call centres/US contact centers: Offices where workers provide telephone customer services like sales

Want to catch you

One fat guy - goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new
gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on
the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They
lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and
ladders and tell him to wait a minute.

He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and out steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying "If you catch me, I'm yours."

He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up speed.

Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes
the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5kg.

He's back on the street and starts to think.

"God, I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time...
So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg."

"No problem," says the manager.

Again he is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door
when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign, "If I catch you, you're
mine."

Granted wish

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. All of a sudden, he said out loud, "Lord, grant me one wish." The sky clouded above his head and in a booming voice, the Lord said, "Because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish."
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of another wish, a wish you think would honour and glorify me."
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside, what they are thinking when they give the silent treatment, why they cry, what they mean when they say 'nothing', and how I can make a woman truly happy."
The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge

B o s s

Nice Tamil kavithai.

click here for the enlarged version
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/139/353707904_86ace5c07c_o.jpg

Award winning ad-s

save trees- trees save



cigarettes hang U!

pic of a karathe school


Milk makes ppl stronger

The S E X iest Phone

http://www.apple.com/iphone/technology/specs.html


US firm Apple has confirmed its move into the telecoms industry, unveiling the long-awaited iPhone.
Users will be able to download music and videos with the phone, demonstrated by Apple boss Steve Jobs at the annual Macworld Expo in San Francisco.

Mr Jobs praised the phone's design and told the audience the "magical device" would "revolutionise the industry".

The phone, which will cost from $499 (£257) to $599, will be launched in the US in June and Europe later this year.

Apple is not yet saying how much the iPhone will cost in the UK, but using the comparison of a Mac mini computer the 4 gigabyte (GB) model would be about £335.

Also revealed at the Macworld Expo was Apple TV, a device to stream music and movies from a computer to the living room.

'Super-smart'

The announcement ended months of speculation about the iPhone, which has no conventional buttons but instead uses a large touch-screen.

The firm has patented keyboard technology on the 11.6mm thick phone, calling it "multi-touch".

It is essentially a computer with a blank screen that users configure so they can operate the monitor with their fingers.

TOMORROW'S WORLD BLOG
But as the hype piled up Jobs told us we were witnessing history and he was going to reinvent the telephone - some doubts crept in.


"We are all born with the ultimate pointing device - our fingers - and iPhone uses them to create the most revolutionary user interface since the mouse," said Mr Jobs.

A full touch keyboard is available for text messaging and there is a built-in two megapixel camera.

Mr Jobs said the iPhone was a "revolutionary and magical product that is literally five years ahead of any other mobile phone".

"It works like magic... It's far more accurate than any touch display ever shipped. It ignores unintended touches. It's super-smart."

iPod impact

He demonstrated the phone by playing the Beatles' Lovely Rita, Meter Maid.

He added: "The iPod changed everything in 2001. We're going to do it again with the iPhone in 2007."

The phone will use the network of AT&T's mobile unit, Cingular and will run Apple's OS X operating system.

It will come in two versions - one with 4GB of storage space, the other with 8GB.

Apple shares closed around 8% up after the announcement.

Do it for Indias sake

http://www.petitiononline.com/apj/petition.html



To: Government Of India
A campaign to increase the tenure of Hon.Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam as the President Of India.

This petition is created with a sole aim of uniting all the FANS Of Hon.Dr.APJ Abdul Kalam worldwide .

We all know that Hon.Dr.A.P.J.Abdul Kalam is completing his Sucessfull tenure in the month of July 2007 .

Come let us join our hands together for a Joint effort to have him serve for more 5 years as our President.

WE need the dynamic leadership of Dr. A.P.J.Abdul Kalam with his Vision .

I am a young citizen of India, armed with technology, knowledge and love for my nation, I realize, small aim is a crime.
I will work and sweat for a great vision, the vision of transforming India into a developed nation powered by economic strength with value system.

Ignites youth towards developed nation by 2020 LEAD INDIA 2020 -
Common Everybody ...Let us Start 2nd NATIONAL MOVEMENT FOR DEVELOPED INDIA 2020.

I am one of the citizens of a billion, only the vision will ignite the billion souls.
It has entered into me, the ignited soul compared to any resource, is the most powerful resource on the earth, above the earth....
Hon.Dr.A.P.J.Abdul Kalam...!

Vandemateram...!

Q&A: Plastic electronics

British firm Plastic Logic has announced that it will build the world's first factory to manufacture plastic electronic circuits.
What are plastic electronics?

Plastic electronics is a branch of electronics that deals with devices made from organic polymers, or conductive plastics, as opposed to silicon.

Organic polymers are a class of substances that are used to make everything from bin bags to solar panels.

The highly conductive polymers needed for electronic devices were first discovered in the early 1960s. They are already used in some electronic devices.

In 2004, electronics giant Philips announced a concept flexible display, while other companies such as Cambridge Display Technology use them to manufacture organic light-emitting diodes (LEDs).

However, plastic electronic devices such as those made by Plastic Logic have never been mass produced.

What will Plastic Logic make at the new plant?

When the production facility is up and running in 2008, it will manufacture large sheets of flexible plastic.

The basic substrate will be polyethylene terephthalate, commonly used to manufacture plastic bottles. Circuits will then be printed on to these sheets.

The plastic chips will then be used as the "control circuits" behind large flexible "electronic paper" displays. These devices, currently being developed and sold by firms such as Panasonic and Sony, can hold the equivalent of thousands of books.

It is hoped that one day these devices will become as common as newspapers and books. The facility will produce one million sheets every year.

How do these differ from traditional electronic devices?

Traditionally, semiconductors have been manufactured from inorganic materials, which do not contain carbon, such as silicon. However, this must be processed at high temperatures in expensive clean room facilities.

In contrast, polymers can be printed using traditional inkjet printers or techniques similar to those used to produce magazines and wallpaper. This means they are cheaper, easier and quicker to produce.

As the polymers can be printed onto flexible substrates they can also be used in totally new types of devices such as electronic paper. Plastic electronics are also more robust than delicate silicon devices.

Will plastic ever replace silicon in microchips?

Not at the moment. High speed computer chips require ultra-pure materials and precision design. The first sheets to roll-off the production line in Dresden will have components 5-10 micrometres (millionths of a metre) small.

By contrast, computer chips routinely use components which are nanometres (billionths of a metre) in size. The relatively large size of the plastic components is a result of the printing techniques used in manufacturing.

However, Plastic Logic say it is currently working on circuits with components 60 nanometres in size. If these are incorporated into working devices it could mean that cheap, flexible electronic chips could be built into items, such as cheap toys, where today current silicon technology is too expensive.

One final obstacle could be performance. Although the plastic devices are suitable for electronic paper displays for example, the speed requirements of modern chips are very different.

But teams are now working on overcoming these limitations. Last year, a US-UK industrial-academic collaboration developed a new polymer six times faster than anything previously produced. However, the material was still "orders of magnitude" away from the speeds necessary for microchips.

Are other companies working on developing plastic chips?

Yes. US firm Lucent, Philips of the Netherlands, Samsung of South Korea and Japan's Hitachi are all interested in

MK-0518

New Drug Offers Promise as Single Treatment for HIV.[India]
www.medindia.net, December 13, 2006.
http://www.medindia.net/news/view_news_main.asp?x=16668


India: An experimental antiretroviral drug designated
"MK-0518" rapidly achieves sharp reductions in human
immunodeficiency virus (HIV) levels, and may offer the
prospect of single-drug treatment for patients with HIV
infection.

If the good results are borne out by further studies,
"MK-0518 should clearly be a welcome addition to the existing
treatment options for those persons infected with HIV-1",
concludes the new study, led by Dr Martin Markowitz of The
Rockefeller University, New York.

Thirty-five previously untreated patients with HIV infection
were randomly assigned to receive one of four different doses
of MK-0518, or to receive an inactive placebo. After 10 days
of treatment, the patients' "viral load" was measured. The
viral load is a key test that determines how well HIV—the
virus that causes AIDS—is reproducing in the patient's body.
At the start of the study, all patients had a relatively high
viral load of 5,000 copies per milliliter of blood.

Patients taking MK-0518 had dramatic reductions in their viral
load. After just 10 days of treatment, viral load decreased by
an average of 98 percent (based on the logarithmic scale used
to measure HIV levels).

The results were similar across all four MK-0518 dose groups.
For most patients in each group, the viral load dropped to an
"undetectable" level of less than 400 copies per milliliter.

Treatment with MK-0518 was "generally well tolerated," the
authors write. Side effects such as headache and dizziness
occurred, but there were no major adverse effects.

Although major advances have been made in drug treatment of
HIV, new treatments are still needed for several reasons.
Current approaches require complex combinations of drugs, with
many short- and long-term toxic effects. Drug resistance is
also an increasing problem, as new strains of HIV become
resistant to the effects of current antiretroviral drugs.

There is special interest in MK-0518 because it works in a
different way than other anti-HIV drugs. Previous
antiretroviral drugs target enzymes called reverse
transcriptase and protease, which play key roles in the virus'
ability to reproduce itself.

MK-0518 targets a "third enzyme" called integrase, which is
found only in HIV and is essential to the virus' ability to
insert its DNA into human genes. By blocking integrase,
MK-0518 blocks HIV's ability to reproduce itself and infect
new cells. Because it works differently, MK-0518 should also
reduce interactions with other anti-HIV drugs.

Although preliminary, the study suggests that MK-0518 is a
potent, well-tolerated single-drug treatment that is highly
effective in reducing HIV viral loads, the investigators
conclude. Based on the successful results, a second phase of
the study—comparing various doses of MK-0518 with current
combinations of anti-HIV drugs—is already underway.