Fun with Images - 1
can you find the hidden kid?
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Stress Management
A lecturer was giving a lecture to his student on stress management.
He raised a glass of water and asked the audience,
"How heavy do you think this glass of water is?"
The students' answers ranged from 20g to 500gm.
"It does not matter on the absolute weight.
It depends on how long you hold it. If I hold
it for a minute, it is OK. If I hold it for
an hour, I will have an ache in my right arm.
If I hold it for a day, you will have to call
an ambulance.
It is the exact same weight, but the longer
I hold it, the heavier it becomes."
"If we carry our burdens all the time,
sooner or later, we will not be able
to carry on, the burden becoming increasingly heavier."
"What you have to do is to put the
glass down, rest for a while before
holding it up again."
We have to put down the burden periodically,
so that we can be refreshed and are ! able
to carry on.
So before you return home from work tonight,
put the burden of work down. Don't carry it
back home. You can pick it up tomorrow.
Whatever burdens you are having now on
your shoulders, let it down for a moment if
you can. Pick it up again later when you
have rested.
Rest and relax.
Life is short, enjoy it!!
How lucky girls are?
If a girl laughs,She is a jolly person.If a man laughs,He is mannerless.
If a girl talks,She is witty,If a man talks,He is a chatter-box.
If a girl loves silence,She is serious.If a man loves silence,He is dull.
If a girl looks at a man,She gives a glare.If a man looks at girl,He gives a stare.
If a girl wears unique dress,It is a fashion.If a man does so,He is a joker.
If a girl group moves 2gether,They join a company.If a man group moves 2gether,It becomes a gang.
Dont mess up with Kids - II
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, I'm drawing God.
The teacher paused and said, But no one knows what God looks like.
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,
They will in a minute.....
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten ommandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to honour thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
Thou shall not kill.
Dont mess up with Kids
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.
The teacher asked, What if Jonah went to hell The little girl replied, Then you ask him.
Most interesting Questions asked in an interview
1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?
2. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?
3. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?
4. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
5. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday?
6. This is an unusual paragraph.
I'm curious how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
answers inthe comments section.
Monday, May 29, 2006
How to Catch a LION
Newton 's Method:
Let, the lion catch you.
For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Implies you caught lion.
Einstein Method:
Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.
Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.
Now you can trap it easily.
Software Engineer Method:
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that its a Lion.
If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.
Indian Police Method:
Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that its a lion .
Rajnikanth Method :
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.
The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.
Jayalalitha Method:
Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping !
Manirathnam Method (director):
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark
room with a single candle lighted.
Keep murmuring something in its ears.
The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.
Karan Johar Method (director):
Send a lioness into the forest.
Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.
Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.
First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.
But 2nd lioness loves both lions.
Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.
You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!
Yash Chopra method (director):
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.
Govinda method:
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.
Menaka Gandhi method:
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.
George bush method:
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!
Ravi Shastri method:
Ask the lion to bowl at u.
U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run
Lion tired and surrenders
Talking to Doctor
[1] Provisional
Doctor, please hurry. My son swallowed a razor-blade."
"Don't panic, I'm coming immediately. Have you
done anything yet ?"
"Yea, I shaved with the electric razor."
[2] Unstable
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands
shaking!"
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
[3] Better after Surgery
"Doctor, doctor, will I be able to play the violin after the operation?"
"Yes, of course..."
"Great! I never could before!"
[4] Dumbfounded
Man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, and her
contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor queries.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
[5] Time Up
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results.
They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could
be WORSE? What's the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
[6] Sooner than expected
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.
He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill.
After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says.
"Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks.
"10..." says the doctor.
"10? 10 what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately.
"10...9...8...7..."
[7] Poor Diet
A man walks into a doctor's office. He has a cucumber up his nose, a
carrot in his left ear and a banana in his right ear.
"What's the matter with me?" he asks the doctor.
The doctor replies, "You're not eating properly."
santaJi BantaJi
Santa and Banta in a football stadium..
Santa : Paaji, yeh log ball se kya kar rahe hain?
Banta : goal kar rahe hain!!!
Santa :"lekin paaji ball toh pehle se gol hain , aur kitni gol Karenge?"
**********************************************************************
Santa ( to his son ) : Itne kam marks? do thappad marne chayiye.......!
Santa's son : Haan papa.. chalo...mene us master ka ghar dekha hai.....!
***********************************************************************
Why did santa singh sign all the cheques in his cheque book???
So that no one else could use them if he lost his chequebook?!!
***********************************************************************
Santa : We have to learn Telugu within 6 months or we will not be able to communicate with my child.
Banta : Is it! Why?
Santa : We have adopted a telugu child and it will start to speak after 6 months.
***********************************************************************
Once Banta got a party invitation saying..... Black tie only !
At the party, Banta was very shocked to see other people wearing suits also !!!!!!
***********************************************************************
AND THE LAST ONE ......
How did santa singh attempt to transfer some files from one PC to another PC.....
1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected cut option,
2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC,
3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file,
4) And trying to paste it there....!!!!!!!
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Friday, May 26, 2006
Governance system
As daily habit litte Johnny was reading newspaper.
Suddenly he asked his father, " Dad! What does it mean by 'Governance System' ? "
" Its Like...", father said while thinking, " See! I earn and bring
Money to home, mean's I am a 'Money Holder'. Your mother decides where and how to spend that money and that means she is 'Government'. That maid in our home is doing all the household works, so she will be 'Labour Class'.
You are a 'Common man' or 'Public'. Your kid brother is 'Future' or the 'Next Generation', understand?".
That day Johnny slept with all those thoughts. In the middle of the night he woke-up because his kid brother was crying. He wetted the matresses so he was crying.
Johnny went to wake-up his mother. She was in deep sleep so Johnny went to the Maiden's room to wake her up. But there his father was sleeping. So he came back with frustration.
Next morning father asked Johnny, " Hey Johnny! You understood the 'Governance System'? ".
Johnny replied, " Yeah Dad, I understood! When money Holder is exploiting Labour Class, our Government is sleeping. Future of our nation is crying For
not getting their basic needs fulfilled and in all this Common Man Is suffering!"
Kidzzz
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit, She instructed her son to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to his daddy who was on site. After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that there was a lady that picked up daddy's phone the three times he tried reaching dad on the mobile.
Women!!
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from work and upon seeing him in the driveway, she rushed out and gave him a tight slap, and she slapped him again, for good measure.
People from the neighborhood rushed around to find out what the cause of the commotion was.
The woman asked junior to tell everybody what the lady said to him when he called.
Junior said "The subscriber you have dialed is not available at present. Please Try Again Later"...
A nice love story
The headman of a big tribe had a beautiful daughter, who fell in love with a boy who was an ordinary poor person.
When the people of the tribe came to know about their love, they did not like it at all, and so began to protest about it. Now it happened that the two lovers left their homes for a happy future.
The people of the tribe started searching for the two lovers but they could not find them. At last,they accepted their love and asked them in a newspaper to come back.The people said that if u both come back we will let marry u, we accept that u loved each other truly. So in this way their love won and the age old attitude of the tribe took a beating.
The couple went to the city for shopping for the wedding. He was wearing a white traditional dress, and was crossing the road when a car came and hit him
and he died on the spot.
The girl lost her senses. After a long time she recovered and accepted that her love has died. One night she was sleeping in her home with her family. Her mother had dream in which she saw a fairy. That fairy asked her mother to wash the blood spots of the guy
from her daughter's clothes as soon as possible. But her mother ignored the dream. Next night the father saw the same dream, he also ignored it. Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she woke up and told her mother about the dream. Her mother asked
her to wash the clothes on which there were blood spots.
She washed the spots but some remained. Next night she again had the same dream she again washed the spots but some still remained. Next night she again had the same dream and this time that fairy gave her last warning to wash the blood spots, else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her best to wash the spots, the clothes tore, but some
spots still remained. In the evening on same day when she was alone, someone knocked the door, when she opened the door she saw the fairy at the door. She got very
scared and fainted. The fairy woke her up..., and gave her an object, That awe-struck girl asked "what is this..? to which the fairy replied :
...."kaise bhi daag ho,
jaise bhi daag ho........
Surf Excel hai na..."
Weird Japanese Inventions
SOLAR CIG LIGHTER
Vertigo Soothing Glasses
360 Degree Panoramic Camera
Umbrella Head Band
Ten-In-One Gardening Tool
Portable Office Tie
Cockroach Swatting Slippers
hay Fever Hat
DONO WAHT IS THIS
How's life ? Read the message below
Narayana Murthy 's views on staying late in the office
It's half past 8 in the office
but the lights are still on...
PCs still running,
coffee machines still buzzing...
and who's at work?
Most of them??? Take a closer look...
All or most specimens are 20-something male species of the human race...
Look closer... again all or most of them are bachelors...
and why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!!
Any guesses???
Let's ask one of them...
Here's what he says... "What's there 2 do after going home... here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee.. thats is why I am working late...
importantly no bossssssss!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the scene in most research centres and software companies and other off-shore offices.
Bachelors "time-passing" during late hours in the office just bcoz they say they've nothing else to do...
Now what r the consequences... read on...
"Working"(for the record only) late hours soon becomes part of the institute or company culture.
With bosses more than eager to provide support to those "working" late in the form of taxi vouchers, food vouchers and of course good feedback,(oh, he's a hard worker... goes home only to change..!!).They aren't helping things too... To hell with bosses who don't understand the difference between "sitting" late and "working" late!!!
Very soon, the boss start expecting all employees to put in extra working hours.
So, My dear Bachelors let me tell you, life changes when u get married and start having a family... office is no longer a priority, family is... and that's when the problem starts... becoz u start having commitments at home too.
For your boss, the earlier "hardworking" guy suddenly seems to become a "early leaver" even if u leave an hour after regulartime... after doing the same amount of work.
People leaving on time after doing their tasks for the day are labeled as work-shirkers...
Girls who thankfully always (its changing nowadays... though) leave on time are labeled as "not up to it". All the while, the bachelors pat their own backs and carry on "working" not realizing that they r spoiling the work culture at their own place and never realize that they wuld have to regret at one point of time.
*So what's the moral of the story?? *
* Very clear, LEAVE ON TIME!!!
* Never put in extra time " *unless really needed *"
* Don't stay back un-necessarily and spoil your company work culture which will in turn cause inconvenience to you and your colleagues. There are hundred other things to do in the evening..
Learn music...
Learn a foreign language...
try a sport... TT, cricket.........
importantly Get a girl friend or gal friend, take him/her around town...
* And for heaven's sake net cafe rates have dropped to an all-time low (plus, no fire-walls) and try cooking for a change.
Take a tip from the Smirnoff ad: *"Life's calling, where are you??"*
Please pass on this message to all those colleagues
And please do it before leaving time, don't stay back till midnight to forward this!!!
Put the pieces to-get-her
Nice puzzle to awake your tired brain.....
Just put the pieces together.
http://www.brl.ntt.co.jp/people/hara/fly.swf
Thursday, May 25, 2006
a joke - in-laws
Labels:
fun
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
A B C D EF....
Labels:
fun
A B C - Avoid Bad Company?
D E F - Don't Ego with Friends?
G H I - Give up Hurting incidences?
J K L - Just Keep Liking me?
N O P - Never Opt Possesiveness?
Q R S T - Quit Remember Seldom Trust?
U V W - Use Valid Words?
X Y Z - Xpress Your Zeal
Office signs
Labels:
fun
Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings... they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos...then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation, or your prozac is working.
Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.
A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.
If at first you don't succeed, try sleeping with management.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
TEAMWORK... means never having to take all the blame yourself.
Go the extra mile. It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.
Aim Low,
Reach Your Goals,
Avoid Disappointment.
Plagiarism saves time.
Why reinvent the wheel?
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.
Mistaken cause
Labels:
fun
A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain.
"Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor.
"You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman.
"What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific."
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow,
that hurts." Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled, "Ouch!
That hurts, too." Then she touched her right earlobe,
"Wow, even THAT hurts", she cried.
The doctor checked her thoughtfully for a moment and told her his
diagnosis, "You have a broken finger.
The 99% club
Labels:
fun
Once upon a time, there lived a King who, despite his luxurious lifestyle, was neither happy nor content.
One day, the King came upon a servant who was singing happily while he worked. This fascinated the King; why was he, the Supreme Ruler of the Land, unhappy and gloomy, while
A lowly servant had so much joy. The King asked the servant, " Why are you so happy?"
The man replied, " Your Majesty, I am nothing but a servant, but my family and I don't need too much - just a roof over our heads and warm food to fill our tummies ."
The king was not satisfied with that reply. Later in the day, he sought the advice of his most trusted advisor. After hearing the King's woes and the servant's story, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, I believe that the servant has not been made part of The 99 Club."
" The 99 Club? And what exactly is that?" the King inquired.
The advisor replied, " Your Majesty, to truly know what The 99 Club is, place 99 Gold coins in a bag and leave it at this servant's doorstep."
When the servant saw the bag, he took it into his house. When he opened the bag, he let out a great shout of joy... So many gold coins!
He began to count them. After several counts, he was at last convinced that there were 99 coins. He wondered, " What could've happened to that last gold coin? Surely, no one would leave 99 coins! "
He looked everywhere he could, but that final coin was elusive. Finally, exhausted, he decided that he was going to have to work harder than ever to earn that gold coin and complete his collection.
From that day, the servant's life was changed. He was overworked, horribly grumpy, and castigated his family for not helping him make that 100th gold coin. He stopped singing while he worked.
Witnessing this drastic transformation, the King was puzzled. When he sought his advisor's help, the advisor said, " Your Majesty, the servant has now officially joined The 99 Club. "
He continued, " The 99 Club is a name given to those people who have enough to be happy but are never contented, because they're always yearning and striving for that extra 1 telling to themselves: "Let me get that one final thing and then I will be happy for life ."
We can be happy, even with very little in our lives, but the minute we're given something bigger and better, we want even more! We lose our sleep, our happiness, we hurt the people around us; all these as a price for our growing needs and desires. That's what joining The 99 Club is all about."
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Reservation!
Labels:
fun
Manmohan Singh to Bush - We are sending Indians to the moon next year.
Bush - Wow! How Many?
Manmohan Singh - 100
25 - OBC
25 - SC
20 - ST
5 - Handicapped
5 - Sports Persons
5 - Terrorist Affected
5 - Kashmiri Migrants
9 - Politicians
and if possible
1 – Astronnaut
Short Jokes
Labels:
fun
Geography & History usually inversely proportional
A girl with good geography will have a bad history &a girl with good history will have a bad geography
A laugh 2 start ur dayA large signboard says " ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY "A Drunkard saw the sign & shouted: " SO WHAT? who's in a hurry?!
"Boy: I kept sending my lover a love letter everyday for 3 years!Friend: then what happened....?Boy: She married the courier boy :-(
A judge charged Rs 542.50 fine to a man in a rape case
Man asked : Why this 542 rupeed & 50 paise?Judge replied: Rs.500 for Rape and 8.5% Entertainment tax
A couple had a fight one nightGoing to bed husband said: "Goodnite mother of 3 kids
"Wife replied: "Good nite father of none"
Monday, May 22, 2006
Friday, May 19, 2006
PAN online!
Labels:
fun
If you do not remember your PAN details , do not worry.
You can find it on website http://incometaxindia.gov.in
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