Imagine @ year 2050

Imagine....



It is 2050 and call centres are opening all
Over the West, as the new economic power India
Out-sources work to the countries where many jobs
Originated. Millions of Americans, still struggling to
Adapt to a global economy, are willing to accept jobs
That pay them in a new currency sweeping much of the
World: Rupees. Some of them, eager to land one of the
Customer service jobs from India, are attending
Special training sessions in New York City, led by
Language specialist Dave Ramsey, who goes by a simpler
Name for his Indian clients: Devendra Ramaswaminathan .




On this warm afternoon, the professor is teaching
Three ambitious students how to communicate with
Indian customers.




Professor: " Okay, Gary, Randy and Jane, first we need
To give you Indian names. Gary, from now on, you'll be
Known to your customers as Gaurav. Randy, you'll be
Ranjit. And Jane, you'll be Jagadamba. Now imagine you
Just received a call from Delhi. What do you say?"




Gary: " Name-as-tea ?"




Professor: " I think you mean 'Namaste.' Very good. But
What do you say after that?"




Gary: " How can I help you?"




Professor: " You're on the right track. Anyone else?"




Jane: " How can I be helping you?"




Professor: " Good try! You're using the correct tense,
But it's not quite right. Anyone else?"




Randy: " How I can be helping you ?"




Professor: " Wonderful! Word order is very important.
Okay, let's try some small talk. Give me a comment
That would help you make a connection with your Indian
Customers ."




Randy: " It's really hot, isn't it?"




Professor: " The heat is always a good topic, but you
Haven't phrased it correctly. Try again."




Randy: " It's deadly hot, isn't it?"




Professor: " That's better. But your tag question can
Be greatly improved."




Randy: " It's deadly hot, no?"




Professor: " Wonderful! You can put 'no?' at the end of
Almost any statement. You are understanding me, no?"




Jane: " Yes, we are understanding you, no?"




Professor (smiles): " We may need to review this later.
But let's move on to other things. Have you ever heard
Indians use the word 'yaar'?"




Randy: " Yes, my Indian friends use it all the time.
Just last night, one of them said to me, 'Randy, give
Me yaar password. I am needing it to fix yaar
Computer."




Professor (laughs): " That's a different 'yaar,' yaar.
The 'yaar' that I'm talking about means friend or
Buddy. You can use it if you've developed a rapport
With a customer. For example, you can say, 'Come on,
Yaar. I am offering you the best deal.' Do you
Understand, Jagadamba?"


Jane: " Yaar, I do."




Professor (smiles): " Okay, let's talk about accents.
If your client says 'I yam wery vorried about vat I
Bought for my vife,' how would you respond?"




Randy: " Please don't be vorrying, yaar. She vill be
Wery happy and vill give you a vild time tonight."




Professor: " Vunderful! I mean, wonderful. You have a
Bright future, Ranjit. And so do you, Jagadamba. But
Gaurav, you haven't said anything in a while. Do you
Have any questions about what we've just learned ?"




Gary : " Yes, Professor, I do have one question:
Wouldn't it be simpler to learn Hindi?"